Company asks employees to contribute money for boss’s gift, then gives it back, when they ask for it yet again, employee refuses: 'It's just I could really use that $10 to buy lunch or something'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jun 16, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

What's everyone's favorite reward for hard work? Here's a hint, it rhymes with shmoney… or dash.

So, after a month of hard work, wouldn't any employee be utterly thrilled to spend their hard-earned cash on a gift for their boss (who probably doesn't even know their full name)? That is the beauty of a workplace hierarchy, most mornings consist of a slight head nod from your manager, until their birthday month comes around and suddenly everyone assumes that you've been hiding this legendary best-friendship in the lunchroom, "so please could you contribute 20$ for Greg's Banana Republic voucher."

Why does saying 'no' feel like the ground has opened up and swallowed you whole? The shame of kindly declining to fork out an extra dollar somehow beats the fear of not being able to make it to the last monthly meal. 

So what is the moral of the story here? Learn to say "I'm sorry I won't be contributing right now" or "Maybe I can go without that extra pad thai takeout."

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  • When a company asks for a gift contribution, returns the money, and then asks for it again, that’s when the moral compass starts to blur. One coworker, initially happy to contribute, began to rethink her decision after receiving her money back, only to be asked for it once more.

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    "I just feel it is a little strange to ask for donations, give the donation back, and then ask for us to redonate.”
    via studioroman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    WIBTA if I didn't contribute to my boss's gift again?

    So about a month or so ago they were asking for donations to buy a gift card for my direct supervisor at work. I really like my supervisor and I donated $10.
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    Keep in mind that I am a single working mother that does not get child support, so it was all that I could afford at the time.
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
  • 04
    This morning, the assistant to the general manager brought me the $10 back, stating that they thought that he would be paying
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    for the gift card himself. Just a few minutes ago, she came back and said that they were asking for donations again to help him
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    cover the cost. The gift card that he bought was $100. Keep in mind I do like my direct supervisor and I it's not really so
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    much about not wanting to get something for her. It's just I could really use that $10 to buy lunch or something. I didn't mind
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    donating it I just feel it is a little strange to ask for donations, give the donation back, and then ask for us to redonate.
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    Edit to add: my direct supervisor does a lot for us. She keeps snacks for us in the break room, helps when we need it, and
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    defends us when someone tries to shift blame on us when it wasn't our fault. I already felt cheap for only donating $10. If I
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    weren't already living paycheck to paycheck, I would have donated more. It's not that I don't want to donate, I just don't like being told
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    donate, I just don't like being told it will be covered, get my money back, then asked to donate that same money back. Edit for clarity: Here's a timeline of it helps:
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
  • 13
    1. roughly a month ago, I was told the company was collecting donations to buy a gift for my direct supervisor (she's over the office side of things)
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    2. I donated $10, which was all I could/can afford at the time.
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    DOLIAN 140 ALL
    via gettysignature

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    3. this morning, the $10 was returned to me, with the explanation that the general manager would be covering the cost of the $100 gift card.
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
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    4. about half an hour ago, the assistant came back saying that there was a request that people donate to help cover the cost of the gift card
    via Maleficent_Amoeba_39
  • 18
    Brown_Sedai NTA- in my opinion bosses should never expect gifts from their less well paid employees.
    via Brown_Sedai
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    Jliang79 NTA your boss makes more than you and you are not friends. You shouldn't be donating to a gift card if you can't afford it.
    via Jliang79
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    New_Strawberry4901 NTA. You're living paycheck to paycheck, every dollar counts. They shouldn't be guilt tripping employees into donations anyway.
    via New_Strawberry4901
  • 21
    Individual_Metal_983 As a boss before retiremen my view is that gifts go downwards not upwards. Beyond that no one is obligated to give gifts. NTA
    via Individual_Metal_983
  • 22
    Orangeboi_22 It is inappropriate for bosses to accept gifts from subordinates. NTA.
    via Orangeboi_22
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    luna_moon99 NTA You tried to donate, it was returned, you are under no obligation to re-donate money.
    via luna_moon99

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terrible coworkers boss antiwork workplace-stories employee drama Professional At Work work coworkers donations workplace
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